I can't help feeling negative these days. Everything seems to be pulling me down that I just feel so damn TIRED.
Had quite a long talk with Leah yesterday and she was aking me for advise. Another friend (Jonah) was offering her a temporary job (quite the same from her previous job) but she needed an answer in less than an hour. I told her that if it was me, I wouldn't accept it even if the pay is good. I want to rest from that kind of job. She said she felt the same way. Our difference now is that she's not working now. I tendered my resignation letter earlier this month but it's still not effective yet. One of the reasons she tols me is that she wants to heal herself from the frustrations she felt about the job and I totally agree as I feel the same way too. I'm not happy anymore. In fact I feel really frustrated and disheartened that I wanna leave. If I can just leave ASAP I would have done so in a split second. But I don't wanna leave things hanging here so I'm still holding on and hoping a miracle comes and I can find a suitable replacement ASAP.
Before that conversation, I got quite a scolding from our foreign counterparts (I'll just call them that) even if it was thru internet messaging. I can feel the irate feeling of the other party thru the series of messages I received when I logged in and I can understand them since it was a mistake on our end. The person in-charge was absent -- no early messages informing us about this absence and certainly no reply when texted. (Update: Found out earlier she suffered a back injury yesterday. She's resting now and I hope she'll be back to work soon.) Aside from this, I received numerous complaints when I arrived -- something's not working, blah... blah... blah... can't connect, etc... I'm so tired of hearing this. This is what I got for staying really late just setting up their systems. Some of these complaints aren't even important enough for me to address.
Having barely finished addressing these concerns, I logged in to my YM and saw another boss' urgent PM. What was it all about? I have to assist the project leader in finding trainees, have to address the PC issues (I explained my side on this), look for PC packages (2nd hand will do so long as the units are properly working), ask for ISP quotations, etc... I was even asked if Leah is planning to go back to work (haha! Same question with our real boss) and I said I don't think so. I wanted to ask if their planning to hire full-time dedicated tech support and project/training coordinator but wan't able to 'coz our conversation ended already. Mentioned this to Leah and she said she'll suggest some things to this boss. Hopefully she'll listen.
Because I was so busy already, I wasn't able to have lunch. Afternoon, I have to interview an applicant. I asked our Manager to do this but in the end I was still called to ask some questions. His credentials are ok but I think he can only work part-time -- not the replacement I was praying for.
I was hoping to be off early but since I'm the only in-charge left fpr today, I have to wait. *sigh* After dinner, I tried to do some layout but I know I will not be ablw to finish them so I planned to do them tomorrow. And just as I had fallen asleep past midnight, I received a text message from my sister. What is it all about? MORE COMPLAINTS! Family Issues and money matters -- said bro's been borrowing money from mom but she failed to realize she has borrowed money too. I know because I paid for it. I can't help but send a not so good reply. I'm so pissed. Can't I even rest properly at night? I just feel like breaking down. All my life I hear the same problems that I think I'm so allergic to them. I just wanna escape from it all. I'm resigning and I'm going home (hopefully early next month) but I don't wanna go if I'll just encounter the same problems all over again. I just want a BREAK!
God, I feel so negative! And I have trouble finding hope to ever get out of these frustrations. How can I turn this negative feeling into positive???